Happy Veteran's Day!

Happy Veteran's Day!

Happy Veteran's Day!  I grew up in a family of vets - my Grandfather served during WWII, my father was in the Navy from 1964 to 1984, my brother followed his steps into the Navy from 1993 to 2014, my husband served in the Air Force from 1987 to 2010, and his brother served in the Air Force from 1991 to 2011. So this and every Veteran's Day, I give thanks to all who served, but especially to those I love the most.

Greg and I at Davis-Monthan, 1996ish.

My favorite T-37 pilot :-)

My brother Andrew, at the commissioning of the USS Winston Churchill, 2001ish.

My brother-in-law Rick, at his promotion ceremony in Germany, the last day of 2001.

Greg's promotion to Lieutenant Colonel, also in Germany, late 2003.  We had added another kid by then! Emma is clearly super excited to be in this picture, Michael is just chill.  In the thirteen years since, they have not changed much :-)

Cheers to Old Friends

This is Yokota Air Base in Japan, circa 1992.  It was my first duty assignment after training.  If you think it's a weird paint job on the C-5 than you are just too young :-)

I dug out this photo because I just got a great e-mail from someone I was stationed with back then.  He was a Staff Sergeant and I was a Second Lieutenant.  We've kept in touch over the years and from time to time he has asked for recommendations when applying for new civilian positions.  His e-mail shared that he had just been notified he got the job.  Yay!  

In the course of updating each other on our families, he said, "From my perspective it looks like that bubbly, smiling, energetic butter bar and cocky, smart ass SSgt we both knew in 1992 are doing pretty well these days...LOL!"

Truth be told, I spent most of that assignment at Yokota scared to death!  My Captain flight commander left within a couple months of my arrival and wasn't replaced for almost a year.  I had an 80-person flight responsible for air traffic control and airfield management at the primary airlift hub in Japan.  One thing I was confident about what that I had NO IDEA what I was doing.  But I had good people around me, super smart NCOs that wanted to see me and our unit succeed, and an upbeat attitude.  I learned soooooo much, thanks to the "smart ass SSgt" and many others :-) 

Friendships Fast and Slow

(source)

Yikes - it's been a while since I've posted.  I could tell you things have been busy, like it's an unusual occurrence, but that would be silly.  High speed, semi-controlled chaos is our MO.

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately is friendship.  I feel like I have clicked lately with some of my nothing-to-do-with-the-military groups of friends.  I assumed it was because I now have a slower work life and more time to be more involved in my kids activities. But a chat with a friend (and very wise fellow band parent) made me look at it from a different angle. She said she could always tell a family was military when they moved onto her street, because they always had a wall - a distance - maybe from the knowledge that they would be moving on in a couple of years.

Is that true?  Do we do that? I think that might be the case.  I had chalked up this distance to our busy Air Force jobs, the frequent travel, the usual working mom/stay at home mom chasm and the lack of mental bandwidth to contribute more to the local community.  I believed my growing connectedness resulted from the time and attention I now had since escaping the Pentagon.

I think in the military we short cut to "close friends" a lot - it's one of the best things about the military actually.  A friend called and told me his sister was arriving at my base and didn't have a strong sponsor, could I help welcome her?  We picked her up from the airport and spent the weekend driving across Tokyo and shopping.  This was in 1993 I think.  We were bridesmaids in each others weddings, we are god parents to her sons. A few years ago, when we were in Germany, she e-mailed me that a good friend of hers had just arrived and liked wine and cooking, and I should give her a call.  This was maybe in 2002?  We just had a wonderful dinner with them last night, because thankfully they have moved back to DC. And for many years our three families have gotten together every December to assemble gingerbread houses.  Ok, the kids work on the houses, the parents drink wine.  We have traveled BY AIR to make this happen :-) and would gladly do it every year because these families have become family.

Civilian friendships don't always click this fast. I am now realizing that it's partly because great relationships take time, and also means being more open myself.  I love our community, and am so thankful to become more and more a part of it.

Proud to Be Battle Tested

I was lucky to come across this article recently about my new friend Melissa Boatwright and the organization she has founded, Battle Tested Veterans. She also hosts a podcast (find it here) that is incredible, and I knew I had to reach out as soon as I listened to a couple episodes.  To my surprise she answered right away, and generously agreed to talk to me by phone.

Melissa's father served for decades in the Wyoming National Guard, and despite her father's frequent recommendations to join the military herself, she forged her own path.  Her dream was to become a TV sports caster - Hannah Storm was her hero - and her father finally got through to her when he told her that they had broadcasters in the military.  Melissa then enlisted in the Air Force and spent 10 years as a TV journalist, traveling the world, getting to know all facets of the Air Force, and having the privilege of sharing their stories. Melissa eventually left active duty for the Reserve, completing a graduate degree, getting married, and ending up in the San Francisco area.

In the news and in the entertainment industry, vets are shown at their most dramatic.  Watching and listening to how veterans were portrayed, Melissa didn't feel like she fit the mold, nor did her Air Force contemporaries or husband. Was she a vet? What did that mean?

This sparked an idea to change this narrow definition of a veteran, and she wanted to host an event to help people see and experience veterans like she did.  She applied to host a TEDx event, but the application was declined - not because they didn't like her idea - it just didn't fit their criteria. It was such a powerful idea, this need to expand the narrative to be inclusive of all vets and their stories, that she wasn't willing to give up.  She decided she was either going to do something or forget it all together.

Last November, Melissa brought together 9 speakers, from all services, all walks of life, and each with a unique story.  She brought together an audience of senior corporate executives and HR professionals.  Melissa's goal is to show the senior leaders of industry this awesome and underused resource, and wants them to expand veteran hiring programs and education opportunities for "smart creative" veterans.  You will hear a lot of the talks when you listen to the pod casts, as well as more background on their stories.

Melissa and the mission of Battle Tested really captured my attention because this is what I find most frustrating about being a vet - I don't fit with Wounded Warriors, nor am I ready to hang out at the VFW.  Both are awesome groups - but just don't fit me.  

Because this is me....

And this is me too...

Melissa is fundraising right now to put on Battle Tested's second event, on November 11th.  You can go here to donate - please do!  And if you are interested in telling your story, you can learn about applying here.

Figured It Out

At the recent OWLS conference, they announced a partnership between the Academy Women eMentor program (it's awesome and free) and the Center for Women Veterans.  The leader of the CWV is Dr Betty Moseley Brown - what a firecracker! I didn't know that the VA had an organization set up to address issues specifically for female veterans and it's not new - it was established by law in 1994.  The most amazing fact that Dr Brown shared was that the average age for male vets is 64 and the average age for female vets is 49.  

I belong to a large, national military association that sends me a monthly magazine.  My husband is tired of hearing me rant about it.  The magazine is full of ads for retirement communities.  It drives me insane.  I don't want to learn about investing in properties for "active adults"!  I need to figure out how to afford to send my kids to college!  I KNOW that all vets are not in their 60s because I am a vet and I AM IN MY 40s and I KNOW that there are others like me.  Just typing it makes me rant!

So when Dr Brown said the the average age of female vets is 49, it dawned on me exactly why the magazine bothers me so much. So where is the magazine for vets like me?  Hmmmm.  Perhaps it is time to start my own :-)