Summer Book Report

How is it halfway through September already? Unbelievable. Unsurprisingly I spent a fair amount of the summer on the road, having adventures and spending time with loved ones. One of my favorite things about traveling is all the uninterrupted reading I get to do waiting at airports and flying on airplanes. I feel like I've hit a good run of books, the ones that are hard to put down, so I thought I'd share!

- Colten Gentry's Third Act by Jeff Zentner (@jeffzentner) and the Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley - completely different and both recommended by Knox and Jamie at The Popcast (@thepopcast). The first one is about a rising country star that runs afoul of his fans after ranting against guns and the second is about bringing individuals from history into the present time, and the people assigned ("bridges") to help them settle in modern times. Both have sweet romances and awesome redemptions.

- The People We Keep by Alison Larkin (@allielarkinwrites) is about found families and how at your darkest moments, they come through for you. It has a killer last line: “We have people we get to keep, who won’t ever let us go. And that’s the most important part. That’s what’s true.” 

- The Rom-Comers by Katherine Center (@katherinecenter) is about an aspiring screen writer that is sent to work with her writing hero, a serious writer, who is under contract to write a rom-com script. It is so much deeper than that last sentance sounds. "The stories we need call to us from deep places in our psyches, and we find them with our hearts more than our heads." Indeed. (Her book The Bodyguard is also a fave).

- The Husbands by Holly Gramazio (@holly_gramazio) and The Humans by Matt Haig (@mattzhaig). Both fun twists on how a change in your today makes your future totally different. Matt Haig had me hooked when he described dogs as a "hairy domestic deity" which is funnier after receiving a 4 figure vet bill (maybe - ha). It occurs to me now that these two, along with The Ministry of Time, would make a fun trifecta of alternate timelines to dip your toe into.

ENJOY!

Mom Your Way

I came across this gem the other day when I was looking for a recipe I hadn't made in a while. This document was my attempt to write down everything in my head as I ran out the door for a very short notice 1-year deployment to Iraq in 2008. My kids were in 2nd grade and kindergarten, and my husband was also in the Air Force, who by definition as a pilot would need to occasionally leave home to do his job. 

It was a flurry of phone calls and decisions and discussions to figure out how to make it all work. And tears, definitely tears. After a my tearful goodbye to my kids at home, and then my husband at the airport, I called my mom and we both were crying. I remember her saying, "I don't know why I'm crying but I am," while I tried my best to hide my emotions in the lobby filled with many others deploying with me.

It was a hard year being apart, for sure, but there were many blessings along the way too. We all grew so much. And I am still in awe of the many people, family, neighbors, friends, and even strangers, that reached out over the year with literal boatloads of love and support.

Why am I telling you this? Because the fall is all about transitions - from kids starting preschool to kids leaving for college - and there are many posts about what to pack, and how to prepare, and how to "survive" the drop off. And I want to say, there is no one way. If you are not dripping in buckets of tears at the pre-school or dorm room drop off, that's ok. If you are, that's ok too. It's ok if you stayed for the pre-school welcome coffee or if you decided to enjoy a morning to yourself. It's ok if you packed 100s of internet required items for their dorm (spoiler alert: the first aid kit and vacuum will still be in original packaging next May) and also ok if you didn't. 

But don't forget the joy - the joy of seeing yourself and your kids evolve, and grow, meet challenges, and survive. 

There are some true gems in Mommy's Book of Lists: Tame the laundry monster, Clean up before the cleaning ladies come, Pick out clothes for the week on Sundays, Determine buy/take lunch situation

Top three weeknight dinner recommendations? Fish sticks, chicken nuggets, taquitos. Ooof. But they survived and thrived, and you will too.

Where to Next?

This is not a logistical question but rather a solution I am in search of, a desire for a time and thought management system for someone who is now retired. (Wow, you're so young to be a retiree, you should be thinking - ha!) So much of my life has been spent squeezing in personal projects between work and raising a family. While often frustrating, it was a structure that by default gave a priority order to things. 

There are so many things I want to do with my time right now, I mean, that was the primary reason to retire, but where to start? What a champagne problem. 

Age In (Many) Place(s)

I noticed on our shared family calendar that my husband had added a gym workout and a physical therapy appointment for himself this week. "Very impressive," I encouraged by text. "Eye on France and GC," he texted back. We're going with friends on a biking trip in France this summer and we are returning to the Grand Canyon to finish the hike we didn't get to a year ago (see this post for the details of my epic hiking fail).

He and I are definitely rapidly approaching the age where we should probably consider "aging in place" or moving to where we could. But instead we seem to be doing the opposite...jumping into (not too crazy) adventures since we now have the time and the reduced parenting responsibilities to do so. But is it time to downshift to a more age-appropriate lifestyle?

It's a discussion I recently had with a friend. When do you tip from "active lifestyle" into "Hey old person, you really shouldn't do this anymore"? Hopefully that line is way, way ahead of us. But also, that fact that we are, ahem, a little older, is inspiring a reinvigorated gym routine and closer attention to when our bodies need maintenance from professionals. I am not ready to hang up my skis, scuba suit, bike helmet or hiking boots yet. But also, I pay the extra to make sure any plans are insured and/or refundable and thank my lucky stars I have solid medical insurance coverage - ha!

The world is full of adventure and life is short! Let's go!

 

May 2/3rds Come True

Sounds goofy doesn't it? I was listening to Trevor Noah's podcast What Now? - the Grammy's behind the scenes episode. One of Trevor's pals said he tells people that he hopes 2/3rds of their dreams come true. 

Why? 2/3rds is better than half, it's still most of your dreams. Also, not having 1/3rd of your dreams done (yet) means that you can still chase those remaining dreams without seeming insane. 

Their words, not mine, but it's definitely stuck in my head. Partial credit, if you will, for where you are right now, and motivation to keep moving forward.

It's a great episode, especially if you love awards shows :-) but if you want to skip to this specific discussion, start at the 23 minute mark.

Distraction Action

Aren't these beads gorgeous? The are handmade glass by Kerry Bogert. They're even more precious because she's not making beads right now. I was looking for something in my office and saw them, literally bright shiny objects catching my attention. My imagination lept ahead to a project - disassemble these pieces and put them into a single long necklace so that I can better enjoy the colors while wearing them. 

This is classic distraction action. It's a new term I learned on the Faith Adjacent podcast (the NOs of Resolutions episode, starting at about 28 minutes in, to be precise :-)). In the podcast, Jamie shares the sage advice from her therapist to assess actions as necessary, or action (no matter how valid) that is a distraction from a more important task.

I realize it is rarely clear what is the most important action and what is really a distraction (I mean, who wouldn't want a new necklace with these pretty beads?) but alas, there is other stuff I should be doing right now. But I'll get back to this project soon, for sure!

 

The Best Resolution

I have a love hate relationship with new years resolutions and also the first half of January. Dark, gray, party-less, blech.  I used to find putting away the Christmas decorations and the weird emptiness left where the Christmas tree used to be kind of a bummer. But for some reason I am digging it this year. I love the lack of clutter and sudden spaciousness around the house. 

After a fun couple of weeks with loved ones, it's definitely very quiet. But I am appreciating the mental white space to make plans, and to really think. Between now and December 31st, 2024, what will that look like? 

The list is long, and probably unattainable, but a wise woman I know said that purpose and follow through were more important than perfection. It's such a simple idea, but it has really stuck amongst the many open tabs in my brain. It's permission to start and to finish, without worrying if the result will be perfect.

Now, go!