Saturday, December 30, 2017

Guest Post Part 2: More Ways to Not Be a Jerk While Flying

(from TSA's Instagram, worth subscribing to)

My son started writing a book on our long flight home from the west coast this Thanksgiving, a result of a long, packed flight, wonky WiFi, and noisy fellow passengers.  I am SO SO SO appreciative of all the support for his first few pages (see them here). Here is the next installment, enjoy!

                           Leaving the house

This chapter isn’t really about leaving the house but more about what should be done before you get to the airport. These things should not be done while in line for security or in line to check your bags. When I see people doing these things I like to mentally quote the Boy Scout motto, “Be prepared”

Rule #1
Have a mostly fixed wardrobe.
This one is pretty simple. You don’t want to be frequently changing what you're wearing because everything you buy, take off, or put on requires you to dive into your bag. This is a problem because as you read you will understand that you really want to avoid as much commotion and fuss as possible. One of the best ways to do this is to have a fixed wardrobe. It’s ok to occasionally take of or on a sweatshirt but, things like pants and shirts should stay put.

Rule#2
Follow my dress code
Rule 2 goes hand in hand with Rule 1. Now don’t worry, this is unisex and applies to all genders. You want sneakers, long socks, sweatpants or jeans (just no skinny jeans), long sleeve shirt or tee shirt and a sweatshirt. If you couldn't already tell, the point of this is to show as little skin as possible. Girls, you're on an airplane not at the gym; nothing should be skin tight or show more than necessary. Guys, please wear closed toed shoes. Nobody wants to see your nasty toenails. The first thing people judge you by is your clothes so I recommend a bland look.

Rule #3
Pack your bag right
Close your eyes any try to envision a hypothetical scenario as I tell it to you. (Don't actually because you will probably look very stupid sitting there upright with your eyes closed and a book in your hand). You're sitting there two hours into your flight and you have ten percent left on your Tablet. Oh no! How will I watch Game of Thrones now! Then you suddenly realize in horror that your portable battery is at the bottom of your bag. Now you have to dig to the bottom of your bag, putting stuff everywhere as your seatmates give you the stink eye. Now imagine this one. You're sitting there two hours into your flight and you have ten percent left on your Tablet. However, you packed smart and you reach into the top outside pocket and pull out whatever brick like power bank you have and recharge your tablet. Meanwhile while this happened, nobody notices. I think you see where I'm getting at.

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